I am retired.

Well, this is a weird thing to announce, for some reason.  I am retired as of last Thursday or more accurately a stay-at-home-Mom.  It's weird because it was always something that I really wanted to do but never really thought would happen.  Well it has and I must say that I am little freaked out.  Everyone keeps saying, "Are you excited?"  "You must be so looking forward to this time!". Don't get me wrong, I am so excited but honestly I'm a little embarrassed.  The Hovaters are going to be poor, poor, poor but the truth is that we should be able to swing this financially with some discipline and that makes me self-conscious.  It is such a privileged place in our society to be a SAHM and I want to be mindful of those that can't or don't want to.  It's not for everybody and really I may get 6 months into this and decide it's not for me.  Mom's of all decisions should be honored for their "Momdum".  Also, I kind of feel like it's a club, an exclusive club that Mom's that don't stay at home with their kids, or kidless people for that matter, aren't invited to be a part of.  That makes me sad and also fired up at the same time! I'm sorry that I'm rambling some and maybe even offending someone or two.  That is not my intention, it's just me processing what this means for me, our family and our girls.  Because I still think it is very important for there to be a 'me' beyond a Momma to our sweet girls.  Wow, this is not where I wanted this post to go!  I was planning on speaking about making this time to be about memories and not me shooshing them to go play while I slave away in the kitchen or fold laundry.   I guess we will figure all of that out over time.  I guess that I just want people to know that I while I am so excited to spend every day making memories with my girls, I am also taking this position in our lives with a very heavy heart, realizing the privilege and be so thankful for that while being very thoughtful at the responsibility that I am taking on.