I am retired.

Well, this is a weird thing to announce, for some reason.  I am retired as of last Thursday or more accurately a stay-at-home-Mom.  It's weird because it was always something that I really wanted to do but never really thought would happen.  Well it has and I must say that I am little freaked out.  Everyone keeps saying, "Are you excited?"  "You must be so looking forward to this time!". Don't get me wrong, I am so excited but honestly I'm a little embarrassed.  The Hovaters are going to be poor, poor, poor but the truth is that we should be able to swing this financially with some discipline and that makes me self-conscious.  It is such a privileged place in our society to be a SAHM and I want to be mindful of those that can't or don't want to.  It's not for everybody and really I may get 6 months into this and decide it's not for me.  Mom's of all decisions should be honored for their "Momdum".  Also, I kind of feel like it's a club, an exclusive club that Mom's that don't stay at home with their kids, or kidless people for that matter, aren't invited to be a part of.  That makes me sad and also fired up at the same time! I'm sorry that I'm rambling some and maybe even offending someone or two.  That is not my intention, it's just me processing what this means for me, our family and our girls.  Because I still think it is very important for there to be a 'me' beyond a Momma to our sweet girls.  Wow, this is not where I wanted this post to go!  I was planning on speaking about making this time to be about memories and not me shooshing them to go play while I slave away in the kitchen or fold laundry.   I guess we will figure all of that out over time.  I guess that I just want people to know that I while I am so excited to spend every day making memories with my girls, I am also taking this position in our lives with a very heavy heart, realizing the privilege and be so thankful for that while being very thoughtful at the responsibility that I am taking on.  

I guess it's about time...

to go ahead and tackle a beast of a post since it has almost been a year.  Kind of a lot has happened.  Well not kind of, ABSOLUTELY a lot has happened.  The biggest thing is that we have kids now.  Yup, it's true, kidS.  2 of them and they are fan-freakin-tastic!  I can say that now that they are peacefully sleeping their, hopefully (fingers crossed), 3 hour Sunday nap.   

The story goes like this...

Steven was away for the week at school about this time last year.  He came home on Wednesday to drop the mother of all bombs just to leave again that night.  Awesome.  He comes home for church that Wednesday night.  We go out to dinner before he has to drive back to Memph.  We are having a nice dinner and then out of no where he says "I think that we should adopt"  My first reaction, "You have lost your freakin mind!"  I know that sounds horrible of me but it was just so difficult for me to process on the fly.  It wasn't how I REALLY pictured our family when I was totally honest with myself.  I think adoption is one of those things that so many people say they want to do but then never really get around to it.  I'll admit, I was one of those.  I loved the idea but really, really doing it scared the crap out of me.  (Inner dialogue = Would they like me?  Could I love a child unconditionally that didn't come from my body?  What would people say?  What is my Mom going to say?   Can we really do this?  Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, I might throw up and cry all at once)  I really didn't know how to process it all so I just cried.  How in the world can I tell the man that I love that I don't want to parent a child that needs us.  I couldn't so I fought it thinking surely there is a reason why this isn't practical.  Every single one God found a solution for.  I don't think there has really been a time in my life where I can say that I truly wrestled with God.  Now I can.  It really wasn't an easy decision for me at all.  I was not going to be the girl that talked about it and then didn't follow through.  These children deserve more.  I wanted to be thoughtful and prayerful and boy was I!  I can't recall a time in my life where God so vividly and tangibly worked.  It was like neon on lights saying "Do it!  Doit!"  I didn't want to, it was scary and I felt so inadequate.  Finally after months of wrestling I got to a point where I really looked at this for what it was.  The only real reason why I wasn't saying yes was because of fear and that fear was driven by satan and I wasn't going to let him have this.  It wasn't his.  From the very beginning this was God's and I was letting satan make my decision.  Not any more.  

In the mean time we were getting our certifications and all that yucky paper work together when a couple from our church came to us and said that their girls were going to be up for adoption pretty soon and asked it we would be interested.  Again the tears.  I don't know why I was so emotional about it all, but I was a total basket case through the whole process.  So we said yes, thinking that it probably wouldn't work.  God had other plans.  So I now I sit here today as Momma of Micah Marie and Israel (Izzy) Ann feeling so proud of them for overcoming so much sin in their birth family's life and so honored that God has blessed and entrusted these precious girls to Steven and I.  BYW I think that they do love me and yes, I can totally love unconditionally that doesn't come from my body, my Mom adores them and yes we can do this. There is still lots more processing to happen but we are overjoyed to have them in our lives.  The adoption will be final, hopefully, at the first of June.  Here they are...

This is Micah

   This is Izzy

Finally!!!

After 7 long years, Steven and I will be making the trip to Memphis this Saturday for his graduation!! I am so proud of him!! 7 long years of driving back and forth to Memphis at least once a week. For all of those who have driven the stretch from LR to Memphis, you know that that in itself is quite the feat. YUCK! On Saturday he will be receiving his Masters of Divinity. I am just so impressed with him. Besides the fact the I married him I just think that it is a big deal for anyone to have accomplished this goal WHILE having a full time job in YOUTH MINISTRY!! It just amazes me every time I think about it. It wasn't like he was just taking a class here and a class there. Most semesters it was 9 hours!!! That's full-time folks! Alright, enough bragging on Steven. I just wanted you guys to share in this joy with us!!

Who Knew???

So when we first got married, well I guess it started when we were engaged. I had all these questions about what it would be like and what was I getting myself into by contractionally obligating myself to love somebody for the rest of my life . I felt like through out the whole process both Steven and I were ruthlessly honest and genuine with each other but there was still a small part, well let's just be honest here, a HUGE part that wondered what the world of marriage would be like for us. Would I find out some deep, dark secret about Steven that, had I know on the front end, would have been a deal breaker? Would I wake up the next morning in a frantic panic wondering if I made the WRONG decision? Would he continue to be my night in shining armor even after that ring was on his finger? Does that wedding really have magical powers that turn wonderful men into abusive, raging alcoholics? I DID NOT want to be the girl that sat on Oprah in my own puddle of tears saying, "He was so wonderful before we got married and then something happened, something changed. I never saw it coming" (yea, right) You guys have heard all the stories, so naturally I was a little nervous.
Today, I am pleasantly proclaiming to the world that Kelly Scheppegrell married a HANDY MAN!!!! Since we have lived in our house, almost 3 years, Steven has continually impressed me. I will admit, that that my previous expectations of a what a nerdy minister could do physically were a little, umm snobby, but I have changed my ways!!! It all started with changing light fixtures. We changed out all light fixtures in our house but 2 and Steven did them all by himself. I remember being apprehensive at first because of the whole "working with electricity and not being an electrician" thing. I kept picturing my sweet husband dead, by electrocution, leaving me alone to not only look at these hideous light fixtures but pay off this huge loan that we just acquired. Little anxious.
You have to know one thing about Steven before you go judging me, thinking that I am a beast of a wife that doesn't believe in my husband. Steven is RUTHLESSLY confident, almost to a fault. It makes him think "Well of course I can rewire our whole house with my hands while simultaneously building a brand new engine with my toes and grilling a mean steak with my teeth all the while avoiding a house fire, an inevitably broken car and e-coli! Can't everybody?" It's aggravating at times, to say the least.
Before we even got married he was asking for tools. "For what?" I said, assuming that he would be the kind of home owner who pays people to do things. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. Now, it almost feels like the more that Steven does the more that I want to buy him tools. Like he has proved his worthiness and this, this nail gun will help him rise to handy man excellence!! He has proved to me that he can tile, plumb, install wood floors and build a new deck! That's a lot, folks and I am so proud!! I am seeing a miter saw and new piece of furniture in my future. She says as she laughs sinisterly, "Whah, Ah, Ah".

Still Alive

Yes, folks I am still alive and well. I haven't gotten a chance to get pictures together and we all know that these things are way more fun with picutres. Pictures and stories to come....

I just don't like them!!!

Why isn't this answer never enough? I just don't like animals. It's true and I would die a happy girl if I never have to share my space with an animal of any kind and yes that includes fish. I have had this conversation more times then I have hairs on my head, which really isn't a ton if you know me but you get my point. ;) It goes something like this...
Animal lover: Kelly, you need a pet.
Animal hater: No I don't, I'm perfectly happy in my life without a pet.
AL: But they are so cuddly!
AH: They shed like crazy and I am not about to clean dog hair on my chocolate brown couch everyday.
AL: You can get a dog that doesn't shed?
AH: Those are all ugly. We don't live the kind of lifestyle that is ideal to own a pet.
AL: What does that mean?
AH: I am not paying somebody to watch my animal when we are gone for the weekend and I am for sure not going to come home during my day JUST to let them relieve themselves.
AL: I really think that you are missing out on a very special companionship.
AH: I am just fine with my current companionship.
AL: Kelly, when you have kids, they are going to poop and pee all over the place.
AH: This is true, but they are humans being which is completely different then animals. I just don't value animals like I do humans.

Note to the all the animal lovers: I love you I just don't love your pets. I will be kind to you pets and say very sweetly "hello" to them but I will not pet them and for sure do not want them jumping on me or licking me. Gross.

Yikes!

No excuses folks, just a big fat sorry for checking out for so long.  Let's see.. not a whole lot is new in the Hovater household.  I am SOOO glad that it is fall and we can finally live like normal people vs. crazy adults that spend every second of their summer either out of town or with 8th graders. 

Here is something to discuss...I, for the past month, have had this nagging feeling that I need some sort of change.  Not a small change like a new hair cut, I feel the need for something significant.  I sort of feel a little stressed having not achieved this desire.  Is that weird?  Normally, I just rearrange furniture in our living room and that settles me down for a while, but I have had a hard time kicking that feeling this time around.   Am the only one who feels this way?  Any advice on how to work through that with out buying a new house every other year? 

I will leave you with some pics of our vacation to the Ocoee River.  So much fun!!  Just sitting around with a good book and great company.  Three cheers for your best friend becoming your sister-in-law!!!

 Do I really have that big of a gut?? I will just tell myself it was the way I was standing.

My silly punkin at the Tennessee Aquarium.  This was our unplanned outing because it was raining like crazy.  Rain+camping=no fun.  Don't worry it was only for one day and then it was beautiful! 

Blog Absence

Whew! Sorry folks for the blog absence and for the lack of pictures on this post. I will do try to do better. Man, this summer has flown! Since May we have gone non stop. We spent a week in Searcy for UPLIFT. Our kids did great! Surprisingly, we were low on the drama which is always a breath of fresh air. During the month of June, a friend from home (Fresno) stayed with us. I say friend because we are friends because our parents are close, but Jordan is only 17. Not that you can't be friends with a 17 year old, but you know what I mean. Different life stages. I think that she had a great time with our kids. She was sort of Steven's side kick for that month and handled that responsibility well. Our kids did awesome about including Jordan in most things that they did. It was really good to have her stay with us, except for that fact that she sheds like crazy and I am still vacuuming up blonde hair, 3 weeks later. I hardly have hair at all so I don't loose much, thank goodness!!
Last weekend another set of my parent's close friends came to see us. I think that I have talked about Bruce in past posts. He is my Dad's BFF that was diagnosed with brain cancer almost a year ago. Well Bruce, his wife and her brother were driving across country and Little Rock was on the agenda. I was so thankful for that time spent with the Fain's but it is always hard to see Bruce struggling like he is. He was having a hard time walking and his speech is slow. He really is doing well considering his circumstances, but it doesn't make it any easier to see him like this.
Last Saturday, left for his first mission trip of the summer. Juarez, Mexico to work with Casas Por Cristos. It is never fun when he leaves but I have been keeping myself busy with repainting my bathroom and hanging out with friends. He returns home on the 21st then leaves again on the 26th for Nicaragua. He will be gone for 10 days on that trip. He flies back into LR from Nicaragua on a Saturday and then leaves the very next day for a short course in Memphis. YA-UCK! Good news is that this is his last short course during the summer because he will finally be graduating in May 08!!!! I am so proud of him and ready for all this to be done with. Well I guess that is about the extent of our lives since last I posted. This summer has been so good so far. I am really proud of our kids and our interns. I hope all of you are well!!

Fres-yes!!

Oh what a wonderful trip we had!! This is my nephew who is so so sweet! Aiden is such a wonderful baby. He doesn't spit up?!?! What? Maybe Little Rock has an exceptionally high population of spit-er-up-ers because I don't think that I have ever been around a baby that never spits up. My sister is doing very well. A little tired because she just had a baby, but also because her body is still trying to recover the blood that she lost. Apparently it will take about 6 weeks to be back up to normal. Aiden is also a great eater. He went for his 2 week appointment and the doctor said that he is gaining about 2 oz. a day!! Again, I have no idea if every baby is like that and I really don't want to be the girl that thinks her nephew is exceptional when in reality he just normal, but I was pretty impressed that he has done so well. We had such a good trip and I was not ready to come home. Hopefully in the fall my Mom, Courtney and Aiden will come to LR to visit. This picture is of sweet Aiden in the outfit that we bought him. We are going to make him into a Bama fan whether he likes it or not. Doesn't he look so comfy and cozy in his new role as a Bama fan? I think so! Roll Tide!! Oh, I love this picture. There will be more to come!

I am an aunt!!!

Aiden Thomas Espinoza was born on Friday night weighing in at 7lbs 13oz. and 20 and a half inches. He is doing great!! My sister has had some complications starting after his birth. She is having a blood transfusion today so please keep her in your prayers. She was able to feed him and he ate great so we are excited about that. I should have some pics very soon for you guys!

Sorry

Man, I had such great intentions to be a better updater, I was wrong. Things have been really crazy here lately. I guess that is mostly because we are getting closer to the summer and our summers are always crazy. I feel more prepared this time. I will be able to due a little more with the kids and I am looking forward to that time. I wanted to post some pics to better update you on our last few weeks.




This is us at Garvan Gardens in Hot Springs. It was so beautiful!!! We took a group of about 25 old ladies with us. It was hilariously fun. I sat by a 91 year old women that asked my name about 20 times and after about 20 times of shouting directly in her ear "KELLY!" She sighed and told me that it didn't matter anyway. I wasn't really sure how to take that.





This is my good friend Zac. Steven and I took 4 of our guys to a disc gold tournament in Memphis. Sorry Memphians, there just wasn't a good time to get away and come see you guys. Anyway, I got to see Zac and Lauren for a little while and that was really great to catch with some old friends!

Matha and Hovie came to see us for the weekend and it was so good to see. It doesn't happen enough. I would share some pictures but we really didn't get a lot with our camera. They got a new one that is way nicer then ours so Hovie was busy taking the pics. Last weekend Steven performed a wedding, his first. He did a great job but I don't have the pics downloaded yet. This coming weekend is another wedding and a quick trip to Branson with the girls. I will hopefully will update more soon. Oh here is something I forgot to mention. I should have new nephew in 2 days! I am so excited!! Please pray for my sister and my new nephew Aiden Thomas during this transition. We will be going to Fresno at the end of the month to meet him. I can't wait!

Easter

This was the first time since I left for Harding that I got to spend Easter with family. It was so fun to spend that time with Steven's family in Alabama. Below is a picture of Bailey, Steven's 2ond cousin. Isn't she beautiful? She is also the smartest just turned 2 year old. Her word for the week was pediatrician...WHAT?!?!


Steven and I were able to start our Easter holiday off by having dinner with my dear friend, Ashley and her wonderful boyfriend, Rudy. This is us at Carrabba's (sp?) I love this place and was excited to share that time with them! Sorry the layout is weird. I am trying to be big girl and figure out how to do this picture stuff on my own. We got a new camera so hopefully I will have lots o pics in the posts to come!

A pleasant picture for Jesse to look at while she eats her lunch. Sorry about the gross picture being up so long. This is from our vacation in 2005. I really don't have anything to write about I was just wanting to put something up that was more fun then a gross brown recluse arm. I found this in our picture library. I hope everyone is having a great day!

gross.

The is my sweet boy's arm...don't be jealous ;) 2 weekends ago Steven was visited by a friendly little brown recluse. A brown recluse that wasn't feeling very reclusive at the time he decided to inject his poison into Steven's arm. Why oh why, LBR would you want to hurt somebody like Steven? All he was trying to do was serve God by taking our kids on a retreat. He was only doing his job and minding his own business. Yes, he probably slept in your personal space, but really, turn his arm white because of severe infection? Is that REALLY necessary? I think not.

BTW...his arm is fine now. No big gapping holes, bruising or white flesh. We are thankful, still a little traumatized, but so very thankful.

After and before

The finished kitchen floor!!!
Kind of a blurry finished product pic, but you get the idea. Promise, the pillows normally face the correct. Man, I really should have straightened up before I started snapping pictures!
Silly Steven, making silly faces in our newly floored living room! Yea, it's done, it's done!
This is during the process. They did such a good job! Thank goodness for people that know what they are doing and that those people love us!
This is our living room before, minus the cushions and sorry about the laundry. Sorry this is a backwards before and after post. More like an after and before. Forgive, I am new at this posting pictures business! So that's it. We really do love it so much. No more stained carpets and we broke down and got a new stove too so we are no longer risking our house burning down when we cook. Thanks for humoring me.

a clean slate

This past weekend, we (more specifically my Dad, and 2 other YM Dad's) installed hard wood floors in our down stairs. It looks so good! I am so excited about having a floor that is not all stained up by somebody else's kid. It's so clean looking. We also got a new oven because our old one wasn't quite working the way that it should. My Mom so lovingly called it a "fire hazard". I feel like such a princess having all four burners working, a timer, a clock and a actual light where I can see what I am cooking. Glorious!! So far Mom has been the only one breaking that joker in. So anyway, that has consumed the past few days for us. I will post before and after pics as soon Steven gets a chance. Sorry I am just not good at that.
In other news, we have been so busy(I know that comes as a huge shock!). The weekend before last, we went to Winterfest and had a great time with the kids. They did so well with so much freedom. We even got a compliment about the way they were behaving. It was a pretty big deal. This weekend is a leadership retreat for several churches in our area. I haven't decided if I am going or not. I am really tired and just want to stay at home. Maybe I will just come up late. My parents are leaving today. It has been so nice to have them with us, but I am looking forward to routine. OK, that's all I got!

my birthday week...

Monday (29th) was great! I got balloons at work from my parents, received lots of calls and e-mails wishing me a Happy Birthday and went to this fancy schamncy restaurant for dinner with my sweet punkin. Oh yea, Michael and Mindy Cooper called me to tell me that they are pregnant!! Tuesday (30th) was strange. My friends at work took me out for my birthday to Blue Coast Burrito and I was super pumped. Later that day I got a call from Steven asking me if it would be okay for a 17 year old runaway to stay at our house for the night. What?!?! All of these questions and thoughts went through my head. Is he going to kill me? Do I need to hide all of our bank statements? Is he gross? (sorry, but I can very shallow) But the thought that most penetrated my head was "this is exactly what we are called to do". So I said okay, but was really nervous UNTIL I got home and looked in our extra room where he had put all of his stuff. There, lying very peacefully on the bed, was a tuning fork. Yes, you read right, a tuning for fork. Two more thoughts...1) A band nerd, I can handle a band nerd...2) What kind of runaway carries a tuning fork with him?!?!? Oh, and I also bought hardwood floors for the whole down stairs and I am super pumped. I will post pics when it is done. Wednesday (31st) was equally perplexing. So I go home at lunch to check on our little vagabond and he was gone. So gone that it looked like he never walked through our door. All of his stuff was gone and the bed was perfectly made. Kind of a strange feeling. Turns out he decided that he is not grown enough to make it without his parents and went back home. Did I mention that home is Dallas, TX? Thursday (1st) was really fun. It was a snow day here in Little Rock so I was off all day. We went shopping, bought a new light fixture for the kitchen, then went home and did some things on the house that needed to get done. Friday (2) was productive. I cleaned our house, Steven put up the new light in the kitchen and we spent most of the evening watching the last six episodes of Lost getting geared up for next week. So there you have my birthday week. Man, this year of 28 has started really strangely.

What?!?!

0 degrees, with a "feels like" temp of -20. What?!?! Who exists in such conditions and actually enjoys it? This past week I spent some time in Denver/Breckenridge, Co. I had a blast in Denver and also decided that Colorado does a FANTASTIC job at presentation. Everything looks cute, has a catchy name and really just makes you feel cooler when you are there. Colorado oozes with cool. Not to say that all Coloradans are cool, but their state for sure is. Anyway 0 degrees was the temp Sunday morning. Needless to say Kelly didn't quite make it out on the slopes that day. I understand that we only get to ski every two years, BUT there was no way that I was going to spend 65+ dollars on being miserable. No way at all!!!! So I took the prissy route and sat on the couch, in front of the fireplace and read my book. And I was totally comfortable in that choice. I am not too proud to say that I am cold and don't want to ski today! I don't have anything to prove to anybody! Anyway, besides that and 2 friends with the stomach flu, we had a great time and are so thank full for the time with good friends. I got to spend sometime with my college roommate, Analisa and her new baby boy. It was great.
Now that we are back home and I am relishing in the routine. I have slept in MY bed consistently for 4 nights. It almost brings tears to my eyes. The spring semester is sooo busy and I feel like I am having to play catch up with no time for myself which totally sucks but part of the deal. So here we go! Summer will be here before we know it. Enjoy your day today!!!

Swish, swish

That is the sound that I will be making as I sail down the Colorado mountains, freezing my face off and enjoying time with friends. Today, Lezley and I fly out for the great state of Colorado. Several things are exciting about this trip. 1) I get to fly with Lezley. I hate to fly and I believe that she will be she will be a great flying partner because she will actually talk to me. Sounds terrible, but Steven loves to spend flying time as Steven time so he literaly gives me crazy looks when I ask simple questions during that time. I like to fly with distractions, of course, not the plummeting to your death sort of distractions. 2) I get to spend time with college roommates and a very important baby boy named Jackson. 3) We get to ski!!!! I love to ski but don't get to do it often enough (another reason why Arkansas is crappy) so this will be super fun. Since I am terribly out of shape 2 days will be all that my body can handle so the timing is great as well. 4) The place that we are staying has an awesome hot OUTSIDE! I know that this does not really sound super. Just picture hanging out with close friends, in Colorado, outside with snow, but so warm and toasty in the hot tub. Sounds pretty fantastic to me!
BTW, I am so glad that holidays are over! It was so fun but kind of stressful. It was great to be able to spend time with Steven's family, including Hovie and Martha, but I was ready to be back in my own bed. I talked to my sister yesterday and she said that everything was going great with her pregnancy BUT they are now having a BOY and not a girl. So we will have a nephew by the middle of May. I can't wait!

I am so annoyed! I just lost a great post about Christmas cards. Sorry, here's the short version...I love Christmas cards with pictures on them...Sorry the Hovater's don't participate in these festivities...maybe next year...Merry Christmas!